Out of Our Mind

⁶ Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. ⁷ For we live by faith, not by sight. ⁸ We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. ⁹ So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. ¹⁰ For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.


2 Corinthians 5:6-10


Mood: a bit better... 


Everyday is a struggle, whether its work, school, relationships, or family. There's always some kind of issue that arises. Not surprisingly, my current struggles still involve me getting over the breakup. And as Kayne puts it he sums my situation pretty well... "you cut me deep B***, cut me like surgery" (Shes not a b. I have no ill will towards her.. just sadden by the situation)... Yesterday, I got a package back from Julia that contained the promise ring I gave her, my shirt that she wears when she sleeps and a scarf she bought me. It definitely hurt getting the items back as it seemed like this breakup is more real now and more permanent... I was moping a lot yesterday, thinking about it... But whats different about today is... I decided to guard my heart from now on. Quite frankly, I don't think I'll be able to easily open up to another person for a long time. The more relationships I get myself into, the more jaded I get about finding true love. And to those who haven't had the fortune to be in a relationship, I'm going to break it down for you... there is no such thing as a "fairytale" true love. Perfect love doesn't exist within humans, but only exist in God.


God was there for me when my dad passed away. God was there for me when I broke up with my first ex. God was there for me when I experienced spousal abuse at a young age and when my family was falling apart. God is always there. And again God is here for me in my sorrow and loneliness. 


To those who don't believe in God, it might seem like I'm crazy to believing in a imaginary being that can not be sense by any of the 5 senses, but I can tell you how real he is by how he influenced my life. 

With the life I led up until now, I know His works have formed my very core of my personality and characteristics. I have accomplished so many things when my life could have easily went the other way with the hardships I went through.


To say the least. I think this scripture pretty much sums up how I feel.


¹³ If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.


If I was in my right mind, I could have easily said Eff you God for screwing up my life. But I always end up coming back to him during an event that causes me to breakdown. 


Long rant.... 


Back to what I read today. The life we live now is only a pit stop to the final destination which is being next to Christ - eternally. I tend to forget the eternal and be focused on the temporal. Why am I so narrow minded?! ughh.. The present culture is so detrimental to how I want to live. It's all about instant gratification, living in the moment and you only have one life attitude that affects the way I choose to live... I need to remember 2 Cor 16-18 which states "this momentary troubles are achieving eternal glory". I have to remember that my pain now is meaningless. My job here on earth is ultimately to build God's kingdom. 


God I pray you only put one desire in my heart, which is to serve you...


In Jesus name
Amen.