JOY - Jesus First, Others Second and You last.

   ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?

   ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

~Matthew 6:25-34~

As of late, I've been really stressed about my future. Do I want to continue working at Magnachip, do I want to switch companies or even possibly my career? I thought I had everything planned out before this whole breakup. I would work until Julia got out of school, get married and then I would pursue whatever career God had inclined me to do. But as usually my plans are always shut down by unforeseen events. Though it completely and utterly sucks to have plans fall through,I know ultimately God will be glorified through this breakup. 

In this state I could say that my life is easier and I'm letting God take the drivers sit of my life, but it isn't the case. I still have this human urge to plan things out, make goals and pursue after them, as i'm doing now. I've been studying GREs and my next step is to start school retaking my courses and knocking off my prereqs. I'm trying to make my life simplier by following Him, but it isn't the case as new worries are evident. Will I do well? Will I even get into my choice career path? Is this what God wants me to do? I dunno... I worry that I'm just wasting my valuable time on this earth.

God has a plan for me, and what that plan is.. i have yet to figure out...

What I need to do is... stop worrying about the temporal and worry about the eternal. Seek HIS KINGDOM first and his righteousness. If i seek him first He will take care of all my needs. My short term and long term future, and even my future spouse. He'll heal the pain I have in my heart and comfort me in my loneliness. I need to live out my life with JOY, beginning with Jesus first. 

In this passion week, I pray that you would help me to seek after you more. To remember what you did on this earth and ultimately did to forgive mankind our sins. Thank you redeemer and savior

In Jesus name

Amen